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 MSc. Health Psychology C.C.CERT.Relate. C&G 7407 Further Education Diploma in Casework Supervision E.M.D.R. Practitioner |
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Specialising in relationships affected by Asperger Syndrome.
Individual, couple and family counselling.
Conference speeches, lectures & workshops.
Author of 'Aspergers in Love' and 'The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome'
(Buy Maxine's books)
Practical advice and activities for couples and counsellors alike.
By Maxine Aston
I thought I would share the introduction to my book and some of the main subject headings.
Main subject headings:
- Understanding the difference.
- Communication.
- Non-Verbal Communication.
- Social Interaction.
- Sexual Issues.
- Parenting.
- Getting the Priorities Right.
- Who to tell.
- Special Interests.
- Cassandra Affective Deprivation Didsorder.
Introduction:
Why a workbook for couples and families affected by Asperger syndrome?
I have worked as a therapist with couples and families, where one or more members are on the Autistic spectrum, for over ten years. In that time, I have developed strategies, such as my 'Feelings In Colour' (Aston 2005) that have benefited both the person affected by Asperger syndrome and the rest of the, unaffected, family members.
Living in a family where at least one member is affected by Asperger syndrome, can have an impact on all the family members; all will be affected in some way but not necessarily in the same way. Living with Asperger syndrome is quite different to living with any other disability; it is invisible, there are no apparent physical signs; in most cases it would appear that the AS family member is doing fine and coping. This appearance of being OK can cause expectations, particularly within communication and social interaction; expectations the AS partner may find difficulty in attaining.
Asperger syndrome will affect some of the fundamental ingredients required for relationships to either form or to be maintained. Sometimes relationships may struggle on for years in the belief it will get better with time, yet, in an intimate relationship for example, neither of the couple are aware of what is causing the problems and persistent misunderstandings. This can wear down the mental and physical health of both and affect their self-esteem.
Asperger syndrome can affect a person's ability to emotionally empathise and communicate both verbally and non verbally. It can affect the ability to express emotions and perceive the emotions of those around them.
Most of my work, as a therapist, has focused on this aspect, in an endeavour so that my clients might find a different way to communicate, that they might understand and work together for the future of their relationship. It is often the obvious that needs addressing; the bringing together of two very different worlds; where both might understand and appreciate how these two worlds can be incorporated into a life together.
This book looks to provide a working basis for couples to either on their own or in conjunction with a therapist, learn new strategies and ideas that will benefit their relationship together and as a family.
Many of the ideas in this book come from years of research and years of counselling experience with hundreds of couples and families affected by Asperger syndrome. I do not advocate or propose a specific theory for working with couples and families, as I believe that all are different, each needs to be treated as a unique case. However there are some fundamental areas that become problematic in an Asperger relationship.
Not all the strategies proffered here will apply in every situation. It will be through trial and error a couple will discover each other, discover what works for them and discover how their quality of life and self-esteem might be improved.
